Just when I think, “I’ve heard it all”, here comes the Lois Goodman story, proving me wrong – again. But then, I’m always amazed at the human spirit for good and for bad.
One of my early blogs was about falling in love when you’re old, and about our capacity to love at any age: https://onepersonsingular.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/falling-in-love-3-old-and-in-love/
This post is about a different kind of love, the love that can kill even if you are an elderly lady.
Lois Goodman, in Los Angeles terminology, is a neighbor. I could walk to her townhouse, if I wanted to.
I don’t know her; I never met her; and I’d never even heard of her until now. But, one thing I do know is that she shatters our preconceived stereotype of what it is to be a 70 year-old lady.
When you’re 70 you’re supposed to be retired. You’re supposed to be playing mahjong or bingo with your girlfriends, going to the market with your husband, and taking care of grandchildren!
At age 70 you’re not supposed to be high-profile tennis umpire. At age 70 you’re not supposed be having affairs on the internet. At age 70 you’re most certainly not supposed to murder your husband! Ok, maybe the next statement is going to sound a bit insensitive, but at age 70, if you do murder him you don’t use a coffee mug as a weapon!
When you’re 70, even the police believes you when you tell them that your husband fell and died. Even they follow our long held conventions and preconceived notions about elderly women.
Not surprisingly, my mind wants to take this in a million different directions, so I’ll take you along with me ….:
* He was an abuser!
* He was not an abuser, she was bored!
* He was sick and depressed and she just couldn’t take it anymore!
* What about “in sickness and health”?
* He was 10 years older. When you are 20 years old marrying a 30-year-old – it’s romantic and passionate. You don’t know that one day you may have to be a nurse!
* She became excited about being with celebrities at the U.S. Open, only to go home to an ailing spouse, where she’s brought back to reality; where she can’t avoid the mundane!
* Maybe he was just a boring demanding husband who didn’t cherish her and show her the affection she craved?
* Maybe her new love affair brought her back to a time when things were exciting and life held the promise of adventure?
* Their marriage was probably dead for years!
* Even if it was dead, she shouldn’t want him dead!
* She was enraged at his existence. She was an umpire! She was used to calling the shots!
* Maybe she’d never experienced a crazy and passionate love affair.
* She must have been overcome by rage.
* How close are passion and rage, and isn’t it what they mean when they describe a crime of passion?
* Maybe she was really nice. Maybe she just lost it, knowing that as long as he was alive she was doomed to not be united with her lover?
* Maybe he was too demanding. Maybe he needed to be taken care of, just one time too many.
* Maybe she was just a 70-year-old woman bound by her own conventions, and was afraid to ask for divorce.
* Maybe she didn’t want to be blamed, or seen as heartless and selfish; so in desperation – she resorted to “changing the score”?
I just don’t know the truth, assuming there is just one truth.
Poor Lois Goodman.